Most of y’all know I’m a huge hip-hop head, either I’ve talked with you about it or played some songs at a party or hit the dance floor with no fucks given or you’ve heard me rap some shit like I wrote it myself whiles in the whip. Either way, with all the music that’s come out in 2016 I thought it’d be a great way to not only share some of the songs I’ve enjoyed, but also delve into the ridiculousness of some rap lyrics that I’ve caught throughout my listens. I still can’t fathom how these guys come up with these lines at times or what compelled them to put it in the song. So here’s 7 ridiculous rap lyrics (and songs) to enjoy.

1. Big Sean – Bounce Back

Last night took an L, but tonight I bounced back. Wake up every morning by the night I count stacks. Knew that ass was real, when I hit it bounce back – [Hook]

First off, if you haven’t heard this track download it ASAP. I’ve probably had it on repeat for almost 24 hours, milly rocking in my whip not giving a fuck what other drivers think. Second, when I heard Sean say “Knew that ass was real, when I hit it bounce back,” the lyric had to make the list. There’s at LEAST 5 other ways you could find out if a girl has a fake ass (maybe ask?), but this man really had to go to the extreme of sexual intercourse to confirm that it was real…lmao. It works for the song though so I ain’t knocking it.

2. Tory Lanez – Uber Everywhere (Remix)

I’mma put her in a uber and put her on that trip, then halfway through the ride I’m cancelling that shit yeah – [1min 56secs]

Every time I hear this song I have to ask myself “but why tho?” I’m assuming Tory wanted the girl to leave after the night so he called an Uber, but why does he cancel it though? Was she not up to par? Did she steal some shit? Is Tory just being #PettyLanez? Even if he tried to cancel the Uber halfway (which he can’t), you still have to pay for the trip…so congratulations, you just played yourself.

3. Travis Scott (feat. Nav) – Beibs in the trap

She said she want more, your girl is a hoe, you need to let go, she fucked all my bros, she’s snortin’ the snow, now she’s touching her toes. – [1min 04secs]

Maaaan this is probably the WORST way you want find out your girl is #1 cheating on you and #2 is a hoe. Which is also why this lyric is absolutely ridiculous. Your girl is hanging out with rappers, getting high and then hooking up with every dude in the party and then you have to find out through this song. This would be grounds for any man to shed tears or give up listening to rap in general. Especially if you liked the song first and then came to find out it was YOUR girl he was talking about…shit. The amount of disrespect in this line always has me shaking my head. Shit’s wild AF. It’s mad catchy though.

4.Chief Keef – Faneto

I’m riding through new york, finna go and shoot new jersey up! Try and take my chain I ain’t goin, we gon’ come and blow new jersey up – [1min 11secs]

This song is ignorant on so many levels which is why these lyrics made the list. Don’t get me wrong, the energy of the song is great and I know Chief Keef is about that life, but I don’t understand who or what in New Jersey hurt him so bad that this man had to say he’s down to start WW3 in New Jersey. Like the man is really down to blow the whole state up over some shit that happened to him lmao. The way he says this so casually on the song makes me laugh that much harder.

5. Kodak Black – Slayed

No time to waste, therefore if I get her I’mma hit her. My momma said, baby you a winner not a quitter. Well not today, cause mama soon as I hit her I’mma quit her – [0:49 secs]

Yo, I just want to see the look on Kodak Black’s mom’s face when she heard this line. It’s low-key clever and high-key ignorant, but it always has me emphatically singing it when it comes on.

6. Ty Dolla Sign – Long Time (Feat. Quavo)

I’ve been fucking on your bitch for 2 hours that’s a long long time. I made her come in 2 minutes that’s a very very short short time – [0:40 secs]

This song is a banger, but this lyric here just makes no sense. So, Ty put in work with MY girl (rappers/singers always saying they got your chick when my girl doesn’t even exist…smh) for 2 hours, but after only 2 minutes she came…so why did he spend an additional 1 hour and 58 minutes with her in bed? Now there’s two logical answers to my question. #1 may be didn’t finish and #2 girls can have multiple orgasms so he decided to keep going. But if either of those are the case, this interaction didn’t have to be 2 hours long. I’m sure 30 minutes to an hour would’ve been fine, Ty just had to be extra with this shit. Also, I’d appreciate it if rappers didn’t talk about having sex with my girl, if I had one she damn sure wouldn’t be allowed to go to your concerts no more.

7. Jeezy – Sexé (Feat. Plies)

I told her I swear to God, she make a nigga hate a rubber. If you got a hair on that pussy I’ll shampoo it for ya. Hashtag, hashtag #CleanPussyMatters – [1min 51 secs]

Plies has to be the ultimate fool when it comes to ridiculous lyrics in rap. He’s got a plethora of hilarious bars in 90% of his songs, not to mention his Instagram is some of the funniest shit I’ve seen on the internet. These bars though had me cryinggg. Plies really had to tell us how much he despises wearing condoms with this girl and not only that, he lets us know he had the audacity to tell her too; which in all honesty is real AF, but please wear protection kids. Then he goes on to start the hashtag #CleanPussyMatters. I actually couldn’t breathe when he said this shit. Like I really had to pause the song and rewind just to take in the ignorance of what was just said. I can never take this guy serious which is why his music is so enjoyable and hilarious. I just want to get to a point in life where I can say what Plies says and not care.

That’s all for the first ever Ridiculous Lyrics post. If you find any other lyrics that seem ridiculous let me know for my next post. Thanks for the read!




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