Dear Terrence Ross,

You are a bum ass baller…wait wait wait, hol’ up hol’ up hol’ up.

Santa Stalker

Dear Terrence Ross,

You WERE a bum ass baller. When I saw you get drafted by the Toronto Raptors, I had no idea what type of player you would be, and frankly I thought you were drafted a bit too high. But after doing some research I figured you would be the type of player to fill the void that we needed at the 3 position. I found out you not only had a slick ass jumper, but also athleticism that flew through the roof, plus great defensive capabilities. Your potential was high. I remember that first interview you had as a Raptor where you were asked what the city could expect from you. Your answer? “Highlights”. And got damn did you deliver.

You took the crown as the slam dunk champion, a feat no Raptor had done since Vince Carter (#DeMarGotDeRobbed), and then proceeded to match his franchise record 51 points on the new look Clippers. Last, but not least, you had the dunk of the year on one of the most prolific shot blockers in the league and slayed the monster known as the “Manimal” in his own damn habitat. Things were looking good, you were slowly etching a spot as becoming one of my favourite Raptors. There was so much hype around seeing glimpses of your potential, that people got drunk. They brought up crazy ideas like trading away DeMar so we could see you flourish and get some more value on the team. Granted, Toronto is a crazy city. Our lust for a winning team often clouds our judgement on reality so when we’re up, we’re WAYYY UP. I know that you know this, because just as high as we got on your hype in your first few years, we came right back down to crash on you when you fell off.

With the Gay trade we all had high expectations and felt that you were the chosen one. You did pretty well for being a first time starter, but completely disappeared in the playoffs. I get it though; it’s a completely different atmosphere, you were young and had no idea what to expect much like that first day of University. Shit’s hectic and your lost trying to find your first class, and how to get books, and where to eat, and where’s the building to finalize my OSAP, and why’s my professors’ accent so thick that I can’t understand what’s going on? And why the hell would I go to a tutorial if it’s not mandatory? And whoever scheduled a midterm on a Saturday must be Satan himself. It’s a lot to take on, but it was heartbreaking to see you not have much of a role at all in the series other than that HUGE play at the end of game 7 to give the ball back to us with time on the clock for a last shot. That was the one saving grace for me in your first playoff appearance.

So off the loss of game 7, I expected you to come back next season with a chip on your shoulder. Prove the haters wrong and show that you were a better player. Unfortunately that dream never became reality. Your game didn’t change a damn lick. I know we needed you to hit shots and defend, but your athleticism is extraordinary; I expected you to change up your game by attacking the basket and getting to the line. At the bare minimum have somewhat of a handle, but it seemed like you were still that same Ross from year 1: just catch and shoot, and an occasional 3 pointer here or there.

Then when your defense declined last year all hell broke loose. Fans were calling for you to get traded, even though you had absolutely no trade value. It seemed like you spent too much time responding to the hate of social media and playing video games rather than practicing. It looked like you didn’t care about basketball at all. At that point it was literally impossible to defend your game, I too was frustrated with your play and felt we had to get rid of you for something.

Nobody could fathom why we had signed James Johnson, but yet Casey didn’t give him your minutes. It was mind boggling. I understand you were still figuring out your game, but we did have a somewhat serviceable forward who could take your minutes and produce when you weren’t. Toronto doesn’t have the greatest history of draft picks; look no further than Rafael Araujao and Andrea Bargnani, so when you declined in a season where we expected you to thrive, it seemed like we had another bad draft pick on our hands. Obviously three years in is way to early to tell, but when other players who’ve been in the league for around the same time as you, i.e. Harrison Barnes and J. Cole Tobias Harris; have been striving, it’s hard as a fan to not be upset.  So for the rest of the year, fans did what fans do best: come up with crazy trade ideas and make memes.

Ross Memes

I really hope the stacks of money and plethora of Toronto women kept you feeling loved, because the Internet was killing you with memes. Some of the memes were so savage, even I felt your pain through these memes. Long story short you stayed on the team. The rest of the season was a train wreck and we all remember how the Wizards bodied the Raptors in the playoffs.

And so came the off-season. “Masaiah” Ujiri and his disciples worked miracles and got us a true small-forward that would alleviate you of any pressure of starting as our 3. With no more bone spurs in your foot either, I once again thought this would be an opportunity for you to shine: come off the bench with the second unit and become the new 6 man. Unfortunately, I was once again disappointed. You gained back your defensive prowess and even added a more consistent floater to your game, but you still lacked a consistent offensive game. The biggest addition to your game was a headband and a three year $33 million dollar extension which seemed ludicrous for the way you were playing even with the new TV deal coming into effect. It appeared as if Toronto was stuck with 3 more years of Ross memes and hope.

Then something clicked. January 18th, versus Brooklyn. You shot 5/5 from the floor and posted 12 points. In your next 4 you averaged 73.18% from the floor and 14.4 points, which was  above your season average of  9.4. You started to show glimpses of consistency and followed it up with another good stretch at the end of January. You carried that momentum into the entire month of February. A month in which you posted an average of 12.8 points per game and shot an incredible 40.4% from three. Fans couldn’t hate on your play at all now. As much as we thought it might be a return of Terrence Fraud, you were balling and building a role that benefited the team. Not to mention you were doing it consistently every night. It’s what we as Raptors fans wanted from you ever since year 3: growth. Whiles I was impressed with your recent play, I couldn’t figure out what brought the change. Was it the headband? A deep connection to your ancestors during Black History Month? No more Xbox?

I didn’t find the answer until last week, which happens to be that you found yourself a Rose; and not just any Rose. No, this Rose is the type of Rose that can bring men to their knees if it so chose. It brought out the best of great men before you, and now you are reaping the benefits. So when the rumors of you dating Amber Rose became public, no one was happier for you than your boy right here. Now the name Amber Rose may hold a lot of negative connotation depending on who you asked; words like slut, bitch, and a particular garden tool might come up at first glance with that name.But I ain’t with all that. Like Christ I judge not. When I see Amber Rose, I see potential. She’s a chick that does what she wants and she’s cool with that regardless of what anyone thinks. That’s definitely why I fux with her, but let me enlighten you to her greatness. Her resume because it speaks for itself:


1) Amber”godbox” Rose co-produced Kanye West’s masterpiece My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, which happens to be his greatest and most complete album to date. An album that will most likely stand the test of time

2) Helped James Harden post his best season (2014-2015) ever averaging 27.4 points per game, 7 assists, 5.4 rebounds per game and 2.0 steals. James was 1B in a race for MVP with Steph Curry and his team reached the Western Conference finals on his back.

3) Amber dated and married Pittsburgh’s own Wiz Khalifa who reached mainstream status posting two back to back #2 albums on the billboard charts and a few #1 singles as well too whiles with him.

4) Amber now recently Terrence Ross escape mediocrity and meme savagery. Ross is now playing some of the best basketball of his career and carved his own niche on a Raptors team that is currently 2nd in the East and on pace to reach 50 wins for the first time in franchise history.

All of these men have been lit with her and done great things in their careers. What do they all have in common (other than being black & famous)…? Amber Rose. She is clearly a source of inspiration and support,  and God has blessed her in more ways than one. My point is this: Terrence Ross, you are well on your way to becoming what us fans have expected of you for so long and with Amber in the picture it makes complete sense as to why your game has changed. So for the sake of Toronto and the Raptors organization, all I ask of you T-Ross, is that you stay seeing Ms. Rose because as a fan of the Raptors since ’95 I’m trying to see the Raptors touch the second Round this year. Let Amber lead you to the promised land.

Credits: Shout out to the Official NBA Discussion Group for inspiring this piece.

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